Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tiger Woods Jokes for the Soul (Some Clean/Some Dirty)

In the wake of one of the biggest controversial stories in 2009 heading into the new year, lets break out the jokes at full capacity; here are some Tiger jokes you can't resist, by the way if you don't know what I'm talking about (and you've been living under a rock) in terms of "biggest controversial story in 2009..." just Google: Tiger Woods Cheating Scandal or Tiger Woods SUV Accident:

What is the difference between you and Tiger Woods?About one billion dollars.

9 women come forward and confess to having sex with Tiger. I guess golfers always complete nine holes.

Did you hear Tiger was changing his name to Cheetah?

Whats the difference between an suv and a golf ball?Tiger woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards

Whats the difference between Tiger and Santa Clause? Santa stops at 3 Ho's

Tiger Woods walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a double, my wife just beat me..."The bartender says to Tiger, "Yeah, I saw that on the news. That golf club must have hurt."Tigers replies, "No, not that. I mean she beat me getting to the best divorce lawyer in the state!"

This could be the most expensive front and back nine that Tiger has ever played!

Why did Tiger hit a fire hydrant and a tree?He couldn't choose between an iron and a wood.

Ever since the accident, golfers have been calling Tiger's wife to ask how to beat him

They don't call him a tiger for nothing, If cougars are women who want younger men, then I guess that makes tigers who want younger girls

David Letterman wishes Tiger would stop asking him for advice, so does Shaq, Mark Sanford, John Edwards.....

Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out

Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant

Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me

Technically Tiger is not black, but for golf he is Wesley Snipes

Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger.

Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress

One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was obligated to talk about Nike, Gatorade and American Express

Whenever Tiger strikes a long putt, someone always shouts out “In the hole”. Betcha Tiger never hears that from Elins’ lips again!

Tiger Woods Presents-”The Diary of an Angry White Woman”

Q: What is tiger’s most memorable drive?A: The one out of his driveway.

Tiger has 9 mistresses. First time he’s gone 4 over par.

KFC’s coming out with a ‘Tiger Meal. White breast only.

Surely Tiger knows by now you cant hit out of bounds without taking a penalty.

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